Why am I here? really…
And I don’t mean in the Why Are We Here deep kind of sense.
I mean, why am I here in Canada?

Yesterday my mother’s friend asked me that.
I had no answer to give her.

I tried to formulate an answer, but nothing logical came to mind.

She proceeded to list reasons of why me being here by myself makes no sense.

I couldn’t come up with anything to defend my decision.
Everything that she said was right and it made sense.
I’m aware that makes no sense for me to want to be all the way here, and yet I chose to be here.

She pointed out how I am “wasting” my father’s money.
I know I am, I have known that for the last 6 years.
Why am I so selfish? I know I’m wasting my dad’s money.
Yet I’m still here.

Why can’t I just leave like my brother did?

I’m not even getting a “better” education here in Canada.
I’m in a college, full of stupid people.

Every time I witness the idiocy of my classmates.
It reflects my own, after all we are in the same pack.

I been here 6 years, and my English is still horrible.
My essays get call Academic Garbage.
The teacher rather gives me a D+ than bother reading my essay.

My pronunciation is even worse.
I keep having to repeat myself constantly.
It’s stressing and saddening.

I can’t even have a pet here. Hamster doesn’t count.
A guy needs a companion dog. A real pet.
I want a puppy.

Come September everyone will be spread across Ontario.
So I can’t even use them as an excuse.
Plus friendship is not a logical reason either,
because it doesn’t require me to be in Canada.

My life would be so much easier in Mexico.
I wouldn’t need to worry about my English.
I wouldn’t need to worry about getting into University.
I wouldn’t have to worry about cooking, laundry,etc.
-This year I lost around 10kg
I would have more spending money, meaning a better PC.
I could also celebrate Christmas like it’s mean to be.

I could do many things which I’m choosing not to.
Why? I don’t even know anymore.

I’m here because I want to.
Why? Because I want to be here.

I want because I want? That is Circular logic.
I’m better than that…
But I can’t escape it, when asked why am I here.

Free will is at times more of a curse than anything else.
Choosing can be hard, really hard.

-
Kaworu

I found this awesome video of Jameron~

I really hope we get a 3rd season!

Today I had my EAC150 final, which happens to be my last final.
So as of today I’m done with my second semester~

Now I need to find what to do with my time xD